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Thirteen Things I Say That My Husband Interprets as "We Need to Have Sex"
1. Me: "I'm Bored out of my mind."
What he hears: "The kids aren't hanging on me; let's go sneak into the back room and have wild sex."
2. Me: "I am starving!"
What he hears: "I'm not full and bloated; lets have sex!"
3. Me: "I have a headache."
What he hears: "I have a headache and you know the best cure for a headache is sex. Will you help cure my headache?"
4. Me: It's raining outside.
What he hears: "Sex in the rain is the best. {wink, wink}"
5. (This one I am getting from Toni)Her: "{insert friends name here} is home now so we aren't dog-sitting anymore."
What he hears: "Honey, since we only have one dog sleeping with us now, we can have sex."
6. Me:(This one is a non-worded entry) I laugh at one of his jokes.
What he THINKS: She thinks I am HAWT! She wants to do me! Now!
7. Me: "It's a nice evening, lets go for a drive."
What he hears: "Ya know, we never have broke in the Suburban. Lets go find a back road and take care of that this evening."
8. Me: "Ugh, I FINALLY got the kids tucked into bed."
What he hears: "It's time for a poke!"
9. Me: "I started my period today."
What he hears: "I started my period today so we will have to have sex in the shower."
10. Me: "Darling husband, will you please hang the ceiling fan that we bought a month ago?"
What he hears: "You sexy thang you! If you hang that ceiling fan that I JUST bought an hour ago, you will definately get the poke of your life!"
11. Me: "I think I am going to work on my blog tonight."
What he hears: "I am going to work on my blog tonight. You aren't getting any."
12. Me: "I want to go to Vegas for the weekend."
What he hears: "I want to lock myself in a hotel room in Vegas with you and have sex for 48 hours."
13. Me: "I can't find anything good on TV. What do you want to watch?"
What he hears: "There is nothing more exciting on earth than you. Can I have a poke?"
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33 People Talking Back:
So hilarious... yet so true!
Wow, talk about a one track mind.
So funny. I think your husband and my husband must have the same brain.
So funny!
Although i think i can relate with about 8 of those. All men must be the same!
LOL!!!! I have to agree with Colleen - your hubby and mine are like cosmic twins...
Lately when I say I am doing laundry...oh geez, better not type that one in a comment!
OMG! You are awesome! ( No I do not want to have sex!)
I love # 5 ( of course) and # 9- cause I hear that one all the time!!
I just stumbled upon your blog. I can totally relate to your husband's thinking about sex. My dh is identical! MEN!
Amanda
http://mypinkvoid.wordpress.com/
LOL! Nice Dana! I am showing this and all the comments to my hubby for proof! He thinks it's totally normal for the wife to want it more.
BTW - Dr. Oz was on Oprah this week and said 200+ orgasms a year takes 6 physiologic years off your actual age. :)
Interesting list!
Very funny!!!
Happy TT!
LOL @ # 6
AMEN! Wow, all men really ARE alike, aren't they? :P
~~Becka
Isn't that soooooo true!
I'm curious to see what kind of google searches lead to this post!! :)
LMAO SO hilarious and so frickin true! Love that one Dana!
I'm thinking = lucky you!
LOL
I have trained my husband. There is only one thing I saw that means I want sex. "Let's have a date." Anything else doesn't count.
OH my gosh! You'd think that I wrote that! LOL
Those are such profound words of understanding. Amazing grasp of the male language you have there.
Oh, that is totally hilarious and so true.
It's my first visit and I love the leg lamp at the side. That is one of my favorite movies of all time.
Thanks for the laugh - Happy TT13!
We call it a poke, too! Too funny-everything I say has a sexual meaning hidden behind it for my husband, too. The baby is starting to sleep through the night. I'm thinking sleep - he's thinking- She'll have more energy for sex!
I think that's the funniest 13 I've read! I love the one about 'breaking in the car.'
Gavin always says the best cure for being tired is sex.
My husband was rubbing my feet the other night and thought he was going to get lucky... did I mention that our baby is only 12 days old?
MEN! Hello Captain Obvious!
ROFL! I'm emailing your link to my husband at work. This is him to a "T!"
I can add one to yours:
ME: "What should we do for dinner?"
HIM: "You, baby!"
first time to visit! But posts like this and I will be back. Thanks for a good laugh.
Haha! So true and so funny! My husband speaks the same language!
OMG that is so funny! Men! They are all the same!
Hilarious! Thanks for stopping by my T-13 :-)
This is great! What does your husband say about it? lol. I have to go link this...
As my husband has said and in public...Men, don't care.
I guess if women had something hanging down there all day long getting in the way, then I guess we would think about sex more often...just a thought.
Very funny post.
What a funny list! Uh, does your hubby read this blog? LOL
Thanks for stopping by my blog this week. Drop in again any time and have a terrific weekend!
DK
P.S. Your kids are gorgeous :)
Uhm, uhm, uhm... well..., what else is there to say?
LOL!
Me:"What do you want for dinner?"
Him: "She so wants me. I should walk into the kitchen naked."
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